Friday, September 22, 2017

MY LOVE IS ONE: Authentic Dating Tips for Unauthentic People

Whether you've tried dating online or offline, everyone agrees that it can be difficult. How much personal information should you share with complete strangers?

One thing is clear. If you post a picture from your best school year which is over ten years old, and your bio is cut and pasted from a combo of Forbes List of rising Entreprenurs to watch, and you've photo shopped yourself in front a house you saw in Architectural Digest, you're really going to eventually disappoint someone. Even if that someone is you. Lies beget lies.

Before my father married his second wife, his online profile was what he thought was his best picture from his business card and work id from the 1970's. He also posted his age to be the same as my older sister.

He sheepishly reminded my sister and I that he was her age, in fact, even younger in that picture. As you can imagine, we sat stunned while mentally washing our brains with a toothbrush. Remove the plaque of any scarred memories please. This was one of them.

He did eventually find someone. It wasn't online. It was through a "mutual friend". I say "mutual friend" lightly.

He eventually remarried. She is a very smart professional woman who was clearly just having a weak moment when she ignored all the red flags. She says she overlooked some things because he had such loving children. That's another story for another day.

The point is they are now separated. Apparently, he couldn't keep his mask on and he wasn't willing to change. He just "changed back." One can only hold one's breath for so long.

Just be yourself. You are most likely to find people with mutual interests if you are participating and sharing those genuine interests (art, museums, music, dancing, bird watching etc.) You get the idea.

Take the time to work on yourself. Discover what you do and do not like.

You'll eventually find someone who likes you just the way you are, flaws and all. Just be ready to accept theirs too. It's all a part of the process of growing up and growing old with someone who understands and accepts you.

"Give instruction to a wise person, and he will become wiser still; teach a righteous person and he will add to his learning." Proverbs 9:9

Value time? "Seek God to help you", says the wise man. Begging is not required. Just ask.

LeTicia Lee is author of  My Love is One: What I Learned from the Messiah about Love, Family, Climate Change, and the Second Coming. #MyLOVEisONE